Yesterday I Let Myself Cry…

Posted by on Jul 6, 2017

Yesterday I let myself cry. I let myself feel. I let myself grieve. Yesterday I let myself carefully open the box where I have been shoving all the feelings and thoughts “I couldn’t deal with” today so that I could feel them another day. Yesterday was another day.

Yesterday I allowed myself to be flooded with emotions from that box. And I was nearly overwhelmed by it. There was pain. And grief and loss and hurt and so much more. My heart ached at the memories of a little boy I never got to raise; a son I never got to hear giggle or cry. A boy who I felt move inside of me, but was denied the feeling of him moving outside of me. I can imagine what he would look like now. I can see his sweet twelve year old face with blue eyes and brown hair. He would be perfect. He IS perfect, but he only exists in my mind.

Quentin

Yesterday he was real. Yesterday I remembered. And while yesterday was hard, it was yesterday.

Today things feel a little better. I can walk a little lighter. I can look at my three beautiful children and know that I am blessed beyond measure. Today am so grateful for yesterday. Sometimes we need to open that box where we have shoved our feelings and let them wash over us so that we can start living in today and only remembering yesterday.