Sometimes I Just Can’t

Posted by on Jun 14, 2016


I know some of you are struggling. Some of you are feeling down and like you just can’t. But I promise, you can. Maybe not today, but tomorrow. Or the next day. Things WILL get better! Trust in that and trust in YOU.

Sometimes I just can’t.
I can’t put on a happy face and keep pretending everything is okay.
I can’t smile and make the pain go away.
I can’t stop the fear, the hurt, the ache. I can’t shake the belief that I’m not (and never will be) good enough.
I can’t fill the pit of emptiness I feel deep inside. I can’t stop my body from shaking and the tears from falling.
The only thing I CAN do is to try to focus on all that is good in the world. Because there is so much.

So while today I just can’t, maybe, just maybe, tomorrow I can.

Intermountain Connect Care – Mom’s New Secret Trick

Posted by on May 17, 2016

Connect Care

I grew up with siblings. And believe me. We definitely gave our parents a run for their money. I have the battle scars to prove it! But then life happened. I became a parent myself and I now realize how STRESSFUL it can be when your little one is hurting and a band aid and kiss from Mom is just NOT doing the trick.

When you are at the point that every parent gets to, and you know a visit to the Doctor’s office is inevitable…DO. NOT. PANIC. I have found a tool to add to the Mama’s bag of tricks that will save you some gas money, some valuable time and definitely some sanity. Intermountain Connect Care!

Here’s the proof that I not only know it works, but am now a “groupie”. When my little Victoria, woke up with something that can only be described as a red, bumpy rash all over her body, I knew it was going to be one of THOSE days. And since she is not yet three, I could not exactly follow up with a list of questions of the probable cause of such rash. BOO! I really didn’t want to pack the car and head to an impromptu visit to the Dr. office without an appt, didn’t want to wait to schedule one and it wasn’t looking bad enough to head to urgent care. And guess what? I DIDN’T HAVE TO! WINNING!! I sat in my pj’s (don’t judge) and with a few clicks, was talking FACE TO FACE with a real Physician. It was amazing. With the facetime option, he was able to not only SEE the rash, but ask questions to both myself and Victoria, which was adorable. He accepted not only mine, but any insurance plan and if you don’t have insurance? NO worries mama! You can play at flat $49. At the end of the call, he was able to call in a prescription. DONE. And DONE.

I love it. Best new trick for any new…or experienced parent to have in their back pocket. Cause this parenthood thing? No one said it would be easy…This sure does help though!

 Let me know your thoughts in the comments! #‎MyConnectCare‬

If You Were Busy…

Posted by on Feb 17, 2016

Sometimes I need to remember this. Sometimes I need to work harder on being kid and glad and good and true. Sometimes I am not the best version of myself.

But sometimes? Sometimes I AM those things. Sometimes I am able to put my best foot forward and shine through with the real me. And those are the very best times; not only for me, but for all of those around me. I hope to focus more on the good this year. To see the positive in people and situations. And to always, always, be the best me that I can be.

if you were busy

If you were busy being kind,
Before you knew it you would find
You’d soon forget to think ’twas true
That someone was unkind to you.

If you were busy being glad
And cheering people who seemed sad,
Although your heart might ache a bit,
You’d soon forget to notice it.

If you were busy being good,
And doing just the best you could,
You’d not have time to blame some man
Who’s doing just the best he can.

If you were busy being true
To what you know you ought to do,
You’d be so busy you’d forget
The blunders of the folks you’ve met.

If you were busy being right,
You’d find yourself too busy quite
To criticize your brother long,
Because he’s busy being wrong.

10 Ways to Know if You Have Found “The One”!

Posted by on Feb 17, 2016
Jacki and Becky 001

There is no question that when it comes to best friends that you know are going to be there forever that I have found “the one”. I can laugh with her, cry with her, and completely be myself with her. No one knows me like she does. If, heaven forbid, our husband’s bite the big one before we do I know we will be shacking up together in our old age.So who is the one? My big sister, Becky. It wasn’t always this way, but I’ve always looked up to her. I remember being fairly young (tween?) and staying up late one night while she told me all about the birds and the bees. She has no recollection of this ever happening, but I assure you, it did.

Becky is also the first person (other than the father) that I told that I was pregnant in high school. She took me to Planned Parenthood to confirm it and told me she would support me in any decision I made. To this day I don’t think she realizes just how much this meant to me. We then had a while where we just weren’t as close. Honestly, I’m not even sure what happened to bring us back together. Maybe it was her watching my 8 year old when I went back to work after he was born? No matter what it was, it happened. She is my rock and my best friend. I talk to her about everything and anything. She can make me laugh and she can make me cry. If I go more than two days without talking to her I feel like something is missing.I’m so thankful that my sister is also my best friend. Who is “the one” for you? Not sure? Read the signs below. I’m betting you will figure it out fairly quickly.

The One

Remembering the Orange this Christmas

Posted by on Dec 22, 2015

Christmas orange

My girls and I read this just last night when we heard of a friend who has recently gone through something very painful and our hearts ached for her loss. I wanted to share. You may have heard it like our family, but we open the Holiday Season each year reading it and giving one another an orange so we may never forget the power of the human heart when it is kind.

However elusive the Christmas message may seem some years, I always take great comfort in the story of a little orphan boy whom we shall refer to as Jake. Jake was one of the ten residents of a lonely orphan’s home. There was very little to eat. It was seldom very warm in the wintertime, for fuel was expensive. But at Christmastime there always seemed to be a little more to eat and the home seemed to be a little warmer, and it was a time for more than the usual enjoyment.

On Christmas morning each child received an orange. It was the only time of the year that such a rare item was provided and it was coveted by each child like no other thing they possessed. They would save it for several days; admiring it, feeling it, loving it, and contemplating the moment when they would eat it. Some would keep their orange until New Year’s Day or later. Oftentimes it would start to dry out and shrivel before they ate it.

This Christmas Day Jake had broken a rule of the home in some matter and his punishment was loss of his orange. After a year of waiting for this rare occasion, and this most desired of all rewards, it was to be denied. Jake’s pleading was to no avail. Although the offense was rather minor, still it was an infraction of the rules.

Jake spent Christmas Day empty and alone. It even seemed the other children didn’t want to associate with a person who didn’t have an orange.

Nighttime arrived and this was the worst of all. Jake could not sleep. Silently he sobbed thinking that this year he would not have an orange to cherish with the other boys. A soft hand placed on Jake’s shoulder startled him momentarily and an object was quickly shoved into his hands. The giver disappeared into the darkness, leaving Jake with something that looked like an orange. Not a regular orange, smooth and shiny, but a special orange. Inside a patched-together peel were the segments of nine other oranges, making one whole orange for Jake! The nine other children in the orphanage had each donated one segment of their own precious orange to make a whole orange.

Nine oranges would have to be eaten today instead of saving them for later.

Jake held in his little hands the true meaning of Christmas, the ultimate gift, a touch of human kindness. It wasn’t delivered in a fancy package or tied with a bow. It came in the quiet hours of the night and nothing was expected in return. This simple gift was given with genuine love and a silent whisper what others care.

This holiday season, may we, like the children in the orphanage, find ways to help one another and share the true love of the season.


To you and yours,

Happy Holidays.

Get Peace of Mind Faster With AmWell + Get Your First Visit FREE!

Posted by on Nov 20, 2015

Amwell_3DevicesThis post in sponsored by Amwell. The doctor visit is real and my opinions are real. 

I still remember watching Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman with my Mom back in the day. It may have been a bit of “I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR” mentality which led us to loving the show so much, but really? This lady was a walking hospital! Dr. Quinn had to literally go to the people in order to help treat them. Whether it was a common cold, or something much more serious…which were always our favorite episodes since it usually involved Dr. Quinn’s love interest, Sully…Sigh….

However fast few years and we have something MUCH more convenient, and it utilizes the modern technology we have in our day and age. We have Amwell!! Amwell makes it easy for you to talk to doctors, immediately, from your home. Don’t have a computer? Use your i-pad. Don’t have an i-pad? Use your i-phone. Don’t have an i-phone? Call from your home phone! See where I’m going with this? Simply log on to a computer from the convenience of your own home, or call 1-844-SEE-DOCS (1-844-733-3627) to connect with board-certified doctors in your area. These physicians are the REAL DEAL

Here are some reasons to use Amwell.

  1. Lower cost. Consumers expect online visits to be cost-savers; with in-office visits costing $82 for first-time patients according to the Healthcare Blue Book, Amwell offers a $49 physician visit – a savings of $33. Great option for students in college looking for cost-effective healthcare or those between jobs and without insurance.
  2. Accessibility. After hours, on weekends and in the middle of the night (24/7/365) availability. Great for those who do have transportation or when you don’t feel well enough to drive and those who are newly relocated and don’t have providers yet.
  3. Convenience. Consumers are looking for a faster appointment. Now they don’t need to schedule an appointment nor do they need to wait to be seen, especially if on vacation or business travel. The doctor can be seen from the comfort and convenience of their own home.
  4. Quick prescriptions. Consumers would rather have an online video visit than an in-office visit on average, this is a way to obtain common primary care prescriptions.
  5. Peace of mind. Rather than self-diagnosing or visiting a social forum for medical advice, users can obtain second opinions directly from board certified, licensed doctors.


So I decided to try this out for myself and the timing could not have been better. I was at work when I received the dreaded call from my daughter’s school. “Your child is sick and is requesting to be picked up.” So off I went to get her. Blood shot eyes, fever and she complained of a tremendous headache which was making her see double…hmmm. Not good. So I got on the phone and called Amwell. Immediate response. Immediate drop in my blood pressure from the anxiety that follows your child being sick.

I initially tried the online version, but my computer I was on did not have the camera capabilities. I was a bit disappointed, thinking I would not get my session. WRONG! Just give them a call. They make it so accessible for any type of technology- and it worked like a charm. Because I did not need a prescription, the Doctor I spoke with even gave me a call and left a msg to make sure that I was followed up with. That is some GREAT customer service right there!

After filling out my medical history, which I must say is the best way I have seen! You just glance and click only on those ailments that pertain to you. Click. Click. Click. And you are done!

Amwell doc

I got on the line with Angela Long, a Primary Care Physician and I immediately felt at ease. I was able to get my questions answered, and she assured me that I was doing the right thing by giving my daughter Tylenol and making sure she was getting plenty of rest. I also was given the idea of perhaps getting her eyes looked at- perhaps asking her school the results of her last eye test? Maybe it’s time she had some glasses? I never thought of that!

Ready to try it out for yourself? Just use coupon code: BEWELL9 to get your first visit with an Amwell doctor FREE!


Start Your Morning Off Right With New Atkins Harvest Trail Bars

Posted by on Oct 27, 2015

Atkins harvest trail bars

Granola bars are something that I love to have around the house. They are perfect for crazy, can’t find your shoes, or homework, or car keys kind of mornings. I’m a simple kind of girl. I don’t want a lot of candy and/or processed products in my granola bars. So, while I wasn’t a huge fan of all the “extras” included in the bars we used to buy, they fulfilled their purpose.

A couple weeks ago I was contacted and asked to give Atkins Harvest Trail Bars a try.  I was really excited when I read about the ingredients.  Sorry. But when I think all natural, the first thing that comes to mind is tasteless. So I was a little concerned about that. When my package arrived I ripped it open and to my excitement, there were multiple flavors to choose from. You aren’t just stuck with a “one kind fits all tastes,” you have multiple to choose from. The bars come in four flavors — all offering a simpler, low-carb snack with less sugar and lower carbohydrates than traditional nutritional bars– including Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter, Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel, Dark Chocolate Cherry & Nuts, and Vanilla Fruit and Nut. The bars are full of good ingredients, including nuts as the first ingredient, and contain NO artificial colors, flavors, preservatives or sugar alcohols. Taking all my options in, it didn’t take me long to decide. I knew that the dark chocolate sea salt caramel was meant for me. My oldest chose the dark chocolate peanut butter, and my six year old snagged the vanilla fruit & nut.

Atkins Harvest Bars

It was love at first bite.  My boys were so thrilled with their choices that it was hard to get their little paws off the bars so I could sample the other flavors. To my surprise, I liked all of the flavors! I’m not usually a big fan of cherry chocolate, but with these Atkins bars it’s subtle enough that I still love it! Has my opinion about all natural been changed? Yep. Do I now have a go too snack for the days that I can’t even remember if I ate or not? Sure do. Are they good enough that I think I will be buying more of these bars? Definitely!!

What flavor would you want to try first?

Atkins Harvest Bars

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are 100% my own.

Seeing My Birth Son For The First Time in 14 Years

Posted by on Oct 1, 2015


Four years ago today I was sent a text message out of the blue. It was from my birth son’s Mom, Lena. And in it she asked if I wanted to “accidentally” run into her at “our” son’s football game that same day. My heart leapt into my throat and I immediately started to cry. Through my tears I managed to text back YES!!!

My birth son was playing at a high school which is not too far from my house (25 minutes or so). So around 1:15 I got in my car and drove. When I was almost there the butterflies started. I parked my car and walked until I was across the street from the football field. And there I stood for at least ten minutes with my heart beating way too fast and my palms getting sweaty. Then, finally I was able to text Lena again to ask where to meet her. She quickly met me at the bottom of the bleachers. And, again, my vision was blurred with tears (thanks a lot for this trait, Mom). We hugged each other and my heart did not slow down. This was the woman I had chosen to raise my son. She is beautiful, and kind, and exactly what all of my memories and pictures of her are.

We talked for 15 minutes or so just standing at the bottom of the bleachers. She pointed “our” son out to me (he’s hard to miss at 6’3″ and 190) and we stood and watched him play. He rarely comes out of the game. He plays both offense and defense and had just been promoted to be a receiver as well. I asked a million questions and she patiently answered them all.


We then went up into the bleachers to sit with the rest of their family. His grandparents, his Dad, his brother and sister, aunt, and nieces were there to cheer him on as well. My birth son did not know I was coming to the game. So I was introduced to the rest of his family as Lena’s friend, Jacki. Walking up to meet them I got nervous all over again. Timothy’s Dad smiled kindly at me and kept watching the game. However, I don’t think it took him long to figure out who I was. Lena called him over and he also told me how wonderful this boy of ours is; How kind, and smart, and fabulous (he did come from me, after all). I was also told that his room is a mess and he had just had his phone taken away for texting too late the night before. I have to say it was nice to hear all the normal teenage boy things about him.

For a total of two hours I sat in the stands and cheered on my 14 year old son. And, not once, did it feel weird or awkward. There were plenty of silences as Lena and I watched the miracle that is our son; the handsome young man that we have both created. But it was a comfortable silence.

I did not talk to him. Lena told me he wasn’t quite ready for that. And I am okay with that. He is what it’s all about. But despite that, I can’t describe the feeling of peace and happiness I had while sitting in the stands and watching that football game. I have never doubted my decision to place my son with his mom and dad. But to see them, to see their happiness and feel the love of that family. It is beyond description. The closest I can come to describing it is joy. THIS is what was meant to be. THIS is why I made the decision that I did. THIS is what it feels like to be a mother and yet not be a mom.

It was the first time I had seen my birth son since he was 2 days old. And it was great. Heck, it was amazing! I am so blessed that he has the parents that he does. I am beyond grateful that Lena felt the prompting of the Spirit to invite me to that game and acted on it. What an amazing 2 hours of my life. I hope to be able to see another game sometime in the future. And I will keep my fingers crossed that Timothy will decide he would like to meet me someday.

And until that day comes I will continue to build up my questions, have a new appreciation for football and to know that all is right in the world.

Baby Steps to My Baby With @AstroglideTTC

Posted by on Sep 29, 2015

Lists; Sticky notes, agendas, to do’s, itineraries, all these things I love. I love to know the how, what, when, where and why of a situation. I love to have an itinerary and do my best to follow it. Sticky notes are my friend! With all this being said, I would not group myself as having OCD. I am detail oriented, but sometimes I just make a recipe…without a recipe. But one thing I am ADAMANT about- Lists. I am definitely a list person. I love to make lists, however large or small. I love seeing what I need to get done and then the utter satisfaction I feel when I get to cross something off the list. I view it as a personal sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes my lists are mental- kept in the inner parts of my brain and are always near to my thoughts. Not written down, per se, but they are in my head and I feel just as great when I can file an item away as being completed. I was thinking about such a list the other day. A list that has been present mentally in my mind, but one that I have written down as well.


The list that is ALWAYS on my mind and the item that still remains without a line through showing that it has been accomplished. The one that I have been struggling with for over 6 years as we have battled with secondary infertility and trying to complete our family.

I was talking with my sister in law who had her fair share of difficulty getting pregnant, but once she was, has had 4 kids in less than 5 years! Whew. We talked of how difficult it is to not have something that you feel you are missing. She stressed that even with her miscarriages; she thought my situation with secondary infertility was much more difficult. There is no how, there is no why, there is no when…I let her know I was still trying! And I’m getting help from TTC.


It has everything that I would look for on a list of what I want from it. A few of my favorite product attributes:

*It’s water based- I am good with H2O!

*It comes with disposable applicators which are very user friendly

*pH Adjusted- the last thing you want to deal with is a compromised situation!

How do I remain positive? By doing something. Anything. Little steps are still steps and keep me moving in the right direction. I am a firm believer that attitude reflects outcomes. So I keep going. I keep trying. I don’t quit. We live in an age where the miracles of modern medicine are seen abundantly and I have a firm belief that I will be able to see my dreams fulfilled.

So if there is anyone out there who loves the lists like I love them- well keep that item on your list. It might take a while to cross it off, but just think how it will feel when you actually do!


Astroglide TTC™ sponsored this blog post. The opinions and text are all mine

SASMAR Conceive Plus® & My TTC Journey

Posted by on Aug 20, 2015

Portrait of a crawling babyHave you been following along with Charity’s posts about her infertility struggles? Unfortunately, I have had plenty of my own as well. I gave my son up for adoption at 17 and then tried for years to become pregnant with my husband only to lose my baby at 20 weeks. After that, I pulled myself together and my husband and I decided to give IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination) another try. We did two rounds and were blessed with our amazing son, Holden. We were thrilled beyond belief. When, a couple of years later, we decided we wanted another child we just went straight to IUI again. One round and we got our cute Beckett.

After having Beckett I was been diagnosed with PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome). So when we decided to try for another child we thought we would try by ourselves again. But, I wasn’t taking any chances. I wanted to only use fertility friendly products. Believe it or not, these are sometimes hard to find! After trying the “natural” way for 6 months I was done giving it a go by ourselves. So, instead we headed to the doc to do IUI once again. This is not a painful process, but it’s also not the most comfortable procedure ever. I am blessed beyond belief that one try was all we needed this go round as well.

My cute little daughter was born almost two years ago. Without all the options we have in this day and age I wouldn’t be a mom. IUI is the answer for us. I seriously hope that you find YOUR answer soon!

If you are looking for fertility friendly products then check out where to buy Conceive Plus now. Plus, you can read all the user reviews. This is one of the best things to do before committing to any new product.

conceive Plus

If you have just started trying or have been trying for a while, Conceive Plus® fertility lubricant can help increase your chances of getting pregnant naturally! Now available from selected online retailers from just $14.99.

SASMAR Conceive Plus® sponsored this blog post. The opinions and text are all mine.