Yesterday I had a meltdown. A serious mommy meltdown. My amazingly beautiful, sweet, miracle of a daughter has decided within the last couple of days that she would prefer not to sleep longer than two hours at a time. And while she is awake she thinks it’s super fun to scream if I’m not holding her. Or not looking at her. Or not feeding her. Or sometimes just because it sounds fun. And it’s not your typical baby scream. It’s this high pitched “you will listen and pay attention to me now” type of scream. Okay, maybe that’s a regular baby scream. But in my sleep deprived state it feels a bit like it’s in the supernaturally high realm of screaming.
So what did I do to try to deal with the screaming? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Didn’t work. So I closed my eyes again and started to count to ten very S.L.O.W.L.Y. But before I got to 3 my eardrums felt as if they were bleeding. At which point my 7 year old (that’s right, SEVEN) decided to let me know he had done a number two in his underwear. And then took the underwear off, dropped a surprise from said underwear on the bathroom floor, and left both objects there to find later.
I took another deep breath. Still nothin’. So I grabbed my cherub of a daughter and deposited her in her crib and shut the door. I turned the shower on for my 7 year old, and sat down on the couch and started bawling. I messaged my amazing friend, Hillary (who thankfully had my 5 year old at her house) and told her about the loveliness that was happening at my house. Thank heavens for good friends!! She repeatedly asked what she could do, sent some Italian Ice over to soothe my bleeding ears, er…my wounded heart, and helped me to calm down just a bit. I also messaged my sister (who is my best friend in the entire world). She promptly called me and told me to take a deep breath (ha!) and to look at the bigger picture. Then she made some reference to me being a horrible mom that was totally ridiculous and made me laugh out loud. I can always count on my sister, Becky to make me laugh.
After a few minutes of crying, chatting, crying some more, and eating (because. duh. eating makes everything better) I scooped up my daughter from her crib, checked on my showering son, and wiped my tears. My daughter had those sad sobs in her throat and her arms clinging to my neck. And all was back to being right in the world. Because nothing can melt my heart faster than my children showing me they need me.
Ultimately, there was no magic trick to help me through my meltdown. Good friends was by far the best helper for me. But I did get through it. And remembered just how much I love my children. And, really, how amazing they are. Because they are. And I don’t just say that because I’m their mom. Plus, they are stinkin’ adorable when they are asleep.